Read a Success Story From the Book

“I had been feeling anxious about my life. My children were growing up, my chosen career of acting wasn't fruitful, and something inside of me that I call my "inner wisdom" created such a sense of anxiety that I had to pay attention to it.” 

Judith Fraser, MFT

Psychotherapist, Actress, Writer

Q: Was there a moment when you realized that you weren’t on the right path, and that you needed to get on the right path regardless of the short-term consequences?

A: I had been feeling anxious about my life. My children were growing up, my chosen career of acting wasn't fruitful, and something inside of me that I call my "inner wisdom" created such a sense of anxiety that I had to pay attention to it. I went to see a psychologist and while working with him I knew that I could do what he was doing. 

It hit me like a bolt of lightening. The consequences were that I had to change my life. I had to let go of working in theater, being overly available to my husband and children, (to say nothing about being available to every neighborhood child who needed a surrogate parent) and focus on me. I had been overindulging my family to avoid figuring out what I wanted to do with my life.

The path has given me much more than I ever imagined possible. My work is a shared journey with each of the clients that need education, inspiration and guidance so they too can reach out to find their own individual life enhancing and spiritual ways.

Pain is always a great motivator for me. My body signals me through stress that I need to become aware of something beyond my present way of thinking or acting.

Q: What do you do differently now in your life that reflects your priorities?
A: I'm more aware of my judgments so that I can learn from them and let them go. I'm less needy about others meeting my expectations. I'm pretty much myself wherever I am.

Q: What difficulties (if any) are there in living a more authentic life without retreating from the world entirely?
A: I need more time alone. I feel different. I don't connect to as many people as I used to. I don't take care of others, I assist them in becoming more aware of how to take care of themselves. I listen rather than do.

Q: Do you feel misunderstood?
A: Not by my family and friends. I think they all respect who I am just as I respect who they are.

Q: Do you care what others think?
A: If someone has misinterpreted my actions as being negative towards them in some way, I care enough to let them know what my intentions were and clear up the misunderstanding as best as I can. Then I let go of their judgment. I care what others think and I'm interested in their views, even if they're different than mine. I should say I'm interested in their views if they leave space for me to have different views as well. So, if what they think and say helps me, I care, if it doesn't help me then I let it go.

Q: Do you hope to meet others who share your values?
A: It just happens. I don't have to work at it.

Q: What are your priorities and how do they affect your life now?
A: My priority is to feel peaceful inside myself most of the time. And when I'm not peaceful, to figure out why and take action if I can to recreate that peace.

JUDITH'S BIO

Favorite Book:

Dictionary of Symbols and Imagery by Ad de Vries

Favorite CD/ Album:

Gregorian chants

Favorite Quote:

“Every problem is a gift,” Richard Bach